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Friday, August 04, 2006

Unpleasant surprise and Hurtful lies

....continuation

after months of not being with my other kabarkadas an interugation of some sort happened. I was asked tons of questions and I heard a couple of updates on my other blockmates. There was this one thing that surprised me someone was courting Jica daw and worst like no other one exaggerated news was they were into each other. Ayun na heartbroken bigla, but still nothing seemed has changed magkasama pa rin kami we talk a lot, we still exchange text messages and telebabad. I didn't take it against my friends because they didn't really know what's going on between me and her, i thank them somehow atleast i got the news earlier.

One text message surprised me asking how was I feeling daw... Jica's old friend. I replied "okey lang namn" and ask what she's up to I knew her friend was talking about the so called buzz but I just replied as if okey lang tlga pero deep inside... "Shoot ang sakit nah kaya".

Di ko pinakita na affected ako and infront of her it was as if i didn't hear anything from other people. Well it didn't matter. As long as we are in good terms, we get along and everything seemed okey, whatever happened outside doesn't matter.

Until one night came I didn't know how did I arrive at their house or why was I there. All I can remember was we were talking seriously. We were standing there over the moonlight, it was silent and there she was on the other side of gate and me on the other. All I remember now is that I asked her if she was okey when I knew she wasn't. She insists that she was but I just keep on staring at her, looking at her teary eye. I ask her to look at me but she couldn't. I told her, I won't be leaving until she's really okey.

She was making kulit din of me being okey just to alleviate the awkward feeling of me staring at her... asking me if I was and if did I heard anything from other people, all i did was to deny. I chose to.

Like any other day, I called her up when I was already home and like any other day she made me kulit that I wanted to share something and me too asked her if she had something to share. I said none and i also got the same answer from her. She asked me if I heard anything from other people. I said none and asked her why is there anything that i should know. I waited for her to speak first about it before I will react or something.

She started, she said that i might knew it already but she want me to hear it from her. It was one of the most awkward moments kahit sa phone lang. She was explaining but not straight to the point, no mentioning of names. She told me she was uncomfortable talking bout it but tried to gather strength to say it in the most subtle way. She said she doesn't know how wud i react. She said she don't want to hurt me. On the other line, my tears just fell down, it hurt badly while she was talking. I then told her it was fine with me. If she likes him then she why don't she give him the chance and all. I was trying to hide what I felt that moment. She tried to interrupt me by saying "pero she doesn't want to hurt me daw" "pero she is not sure of this and that". I told her I wanted her to be happy and I don't want to be the reason why she can't move or do what she wants to do. There was no mentioning of names that time, I admit I can't mention the name of the guy at that moment, naiinis ako what made it hurt more I knew the guy naging kabarkada ko xa. Yung mata ko parang gripo ng luha kung tumulo.

Sabi ko nlang, to make everything easy for her ako nalang lalayo. If changes happen I want her to be assured that I wasn't doing it because of bitterness or something. I just don't want her to worry about me. I wanted her to move freely. Then sabi nya basta walang magbabago, pero she was not really sure of the guy. Bigla kong na mention yung name nung guy, at kantsaw inabot ko sa kanya at biglang sabi na kanina lang daw di ko mamention puro "siya" sinasabi ko then ngayon daw kaya ko na raw. Comfortably she added, the guy said pa nga daw, alam ko na ba daw and nasabi na ba ni Jica sa akin and dapat daw malaman ko kasi magbestfriend daw kami ni Jica. Then we laughed it out nalang but damn that still hurt me. Ang weird namin noh! Iyakan then tawanan pagkatapos.

After that... for days laylow muna pero magkasama pa rin kami kc kaklase kami eh. Then intramurals came. Kami magkasama nun... I saw her sa school and I asked her bakit xa lang mag isa nasan na manliligaw nya. Sabi niya nasa bahay daw nila, then she was nagging out na di daw siya sinamahan. Ako naman as the bestfriend daw nya sabi ko baka may important lang na inasikaso or something pero di pa rin xa tumigil dami pa din sinasabi. Sabi ko why don't she text him, sabi nya naman bka daw pupunta yun pero kinahaponan pa.

Nakaupo kami sa bench nun, ang sarap ng ihip ng hangin ang tahi-tahimik ng paligid na you barely hear the cheers over the soccerfield ( we were about 50 meters or less away from the field), magkatabi kami. She laid and lean on my shoulders while we were exchanging words silently.Sa isip ko nun... "bakit ngayon pa to nangyayari". Then I just lean my head to hers comfortably.

Though nakakainis man nung time na yun kc kung sino sino ung iniisip nya, I just enjoyed the moment with her.

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