defining love

dillema arises from time to time... we become confuse most especially when it comes to feelings because sometimes feelings can be vague or deceptive. there is a thin line between feeling in love and not.

there is no exact definition of love.... that's why when we love we just don't say it-- we do it.

a counselor said loving has three essential components...

PASSION , INTIMACY and COMMITMENT

Passion can be refered to as the mere feeling for a person, Intimacy on the other hand can be considered as the closeness between to individuals and not plain sex and Commitment? it's self-explanatory.

Now there are four -- i don't know how to call it -- phases probably of love... or maybe kinds or types and these includes (1) Infatuation, (2) Companionate Love (3) Fatuous Love and the last (4) Consumate Love.

(1) Infatuation - its all Passion and some commitment.

(2) Companionate Love - it has intimacy and Commitment... the kind that couples (who had their golden anniversary hehe) have.

(3) Fatuous Love - there's passion and commitment but less intimate. this is the kind that long distance relationships has.

(4) Consumate Love - this is the love that move mountains. it has all three.

well that is one person's view point... actually the psychology point of view.

Infatuation for me is all about feeling and obsession maybe commitment because of being stuck on one person but other than that commitment does not really exist and it is a one person love for another and not mutual.

Sometimes there is a thin line between loving the person o loving each other and loving the company of one other. A friend recently has this confusion and well i guess she decided to cut the relationship out since she thinks that the kind of relationship she had with her boyfriend is the kind wherein you are both comfortable with each other, you enjoy each others company but there is no clear barriers like third parties and all other issues. Friends with benefitsand not exclusively dating. I understand though the psychology point of view... the feelings are gone but companionate and intimacy is still there. We were studying at the park with some peers weeks ago when we saw this couple actually around 60s already who were strolling side by side with each other and our girl friends (not girlfriends.. okey?!) sighed and said there sentiments.

i could imagine them singin ala sharon cuneta... "kahit maputi na ang buhok ko.." hay.

Now fatuous love is the love for someone a far... "long long distance love affair ohoooh i can't find you anywhere whoooh i'll call you on the telephone" hehe well i don't know how to expound more... but i have to disagree with what was stated that there is absence of intimacy Coz i guess you can always have an intimate relationship with somebody even if you're miles and miles away but maybe if inimate is boxed in with "sex and lust" hehe then maybe it would be impossible to have intimacy on a long distance relationship.

Consumate Love is self explanatory. It is the ideal kind of love perhaps. It is a balance between passion, intimacy and commitment.

now question... where do you fall? well me...

secret. hahahaha btaw. i don't know for now.