Burnt tongue

today, i realize that i was wrong... i realize what i thought was impossible isn't or maybe my mind is mislead by the overwhelming flow of feelings... feelings of pain, feelings of satisfaction, happiness and need.

I just miss her... someone i just once saw... someone i never really met... someone whom i never actually talk to -- well once over the phone. I know I barely talk to her and never did i was with her but it seemed that i knew her much already.

Sometimes I badly miss her yet when she's there i can't utter a word or two... I don't know... probably she thinks that it's a joke, everytime I say I miss her but damn I really do. I do sometimes feel bad when I know I have all the time to converse with her but I just can't maximize the time. I'm afraid just too afraid of what she might think.

Yeah right... i dont know exactly... uhm i just couldn't think what to write more... we'll most important thing i guess is that when she's there i'm happy... she's my kakulitan... she's someone who can utter words to me that maybe others aren't able to tell me... like baliw! tamad! and kahit ano.. hehe and i am comfortable talking to her na parang joke pero totoo namn uhm "smooth talking" kung baga... i don't know.. i am just overwhelmed probably. Maybe.

everything seemed so wrong between us. lahat may gap and space... pero it just feels so right.

going the extra mile

reassesing for quite sometime now and i just realize that maybe i'm too safe that's why whom ever i like doesn't really see me as someone more than friends.

i am not the type who asks permission really... i mean for me asking permission to court is spoiling everything. I don't like the idea of making a contract before hand... it somewhat gives the notion of "eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth"everything has a price.It's like saying, " I will do everything as long as..." it is getting away from the risk of not succeeding.

some if not most girls would actually prefer being asked because they say that it shows respect. One friend of mine though stand that giving permission for a guy to court is some what saying that you accept the guy as your boyfriend... the courtship then after is just merely formality. If you said yes to a guy for courtship and at the end won't allow him to be your boyfriend, would then implicate that the you were just taking advantage of what ever you gained in the process or simply "pinapa-asa lang yung guy". That's according to a girl friend of mine.

Anyway, for me i don't really ask permission... i mean from wherever we started (time we met) and to wherever it may lead, i just go with the flow... when i fall ... i fall... that's it... actions unplanned... it just comes out... but maybe timing is where the problem enters... hehe i just don't know when to say and when not to say... being torpe comes out... and everything just seemed not right... hahayz

going the extra mile is not a problem though because for me loving is more than words (is all you have to do to make it real)... naks! lol. btaw i just show it like any other torpe i guess and this statement--- "action speaks louder than words" ...may be untrue.